kenny

a few days ago… i’ve made a decision—>> 2 4gt u… after we separate.. i stil treat u so gd… n den i feel dat u r avoiding me… u noe how i feel…? i feel realy bad seeing u avoiding me… u noe…? i change 4 u a lot… so wat…? afer i change u will find sumthing bad bout me again… n den tel e u dun wan a bf now.. i tel u dat i wan chase u back… u say ok… den y r u now avoiding me…? u say i can treat u gd bt now u say i no need treat u so gd… wat is dis…..? r u feeling bad 4 da gd i giv u 4 so long…? mayb wat u need is juz freedom n mayb dis is ur life…. i duno…. remember wat i promise u…? i say wat i do is juz wan u 2 b happy… leave u is a bad n stupid decision…. bt i think dats da last way i can do 2 make u happy… remember wat u promise me… i hope u realy can do it… i will ask u again next year… hope dat u will giv me a gd answer… cz i noe wana 4gt a person is harder…知道要失去，就不要去拥有…我告诉自己…不要去想…要忘记太难…所以宁愿辛苦地维系着….我累了…真的很辛苦…

天空灰的像哭过
离开你以后
并没有更自由
酸酸的空气
守住我们的距离
一幕醉心的结局
像呼吸般无法停息
抽屉泛黄的日记
找到了回忆
那笑容是傻气
你我的过去
被深深真的忘记
缺氧过后的爱情
存心的眼泪是多余
我知道你我都没有错
只是忘了怎么退后
信誓旦旦给的承诺
全被时间扑了空
我知道我们都没有错
只是放手比较好过
最美的爱情回忆里带去…

  生活有時陰差陽錯，你錯過了一時，就似乎錯過了一生。

        有個男孩，在學校的新生聯歡會上認識了一個女孩。女孩笑容入春花，聰明活潑，男孩對她幾乎是一見鍾情，卻沒有表露。因為男孩剛經過高中階段循規蹈矩式教育，對男女感情小心翼翼得令人難以置信，他想：「再等等吧，等一切成熟些，再向她說。」

        一年多後的一個夜晚，男孩終於鼓足勇氣約女孩出來，向她表達了心中的愛意。沒想到，平時口齒伶俐的女孩結.結巴巴地說：「我……我想我不能接受……你的好意，一個星期之前……我已經……接受了另一個……男孩……我真得……不知道你……會喜歡我……」女孩說完就跑掉了，沒有讓男孩看到她濕潤的眼睛。

        後來，有人看到男孩同學校的校花經常出雙入對，大家都以為他看中了校花的美貌，誰也沒有注意，校花有著和女孩一樣的春花般的笑容，非常相似，所以誰都沒有發現男孩的苦心。但是沒多久，男孩與校花的愛情就以分手告吹。

        大學生活很快就結束了。畢業後，女孩披上了嫁衣成了別人的新娘，而男孩再沒有戀愛過。因為他清楚，只有這個女孩才是他今生唯一的至愛。

        男孩從朋友那裡輾轉打聽到女孩的生日和地址，每到女孩生日時，他就會叫人送去九朵鬱金香，但他卻不知道女孩最喜歡什麼花，他自己最喜歡鬱金香。男孩知道女孩已為人婦，所以他從來不在卡片裡留下姓名和聯絡好號碼，他不想因為自己的感情而影響女孩的生活。

        幾年時間轉眼就過去了，男孩依然是形單影隻，依然記得每年都送花給女孩。就在女孩生日的前兩天，男孩參加了一個同學聚會，他聽說女孩在這幾年裡經歷了兩次離婚，如今也是獨身，心裡又是心疼又是高興。他為女孩遭遇了感情的不幸而心疼，又為自己再次有了機會而高興……

        終於等到女孩的生日！男孩在卡片裡寫下幾個字：「你知道我在愛你嗎？！」男孩英俊的臉上灑滿了笑意與希望，逕直向街心走去……

        就在那時，一輛逆行的貨車撞倒了他……

        女孩在收到鬱金香的同時也收到了男孩的死訊。

        女孩明白了一切，她把自己鎖在房間裡哭了整整一夜。疋回想起多年前的那個夜晚，男孩對她表白。她一直不知道，這近十年來，男孩是如此執著而痴心地愛著她！想到這裡，她就哭得更傷心，奔瀉的淚水將鬱金香浸染得無限淒美。女孩知道，她失去了今生難遇難求的至愛。

        然而，長眠的男孩永遠也不知道，女孩最喜歡的，正是鬱金香啊……

nice story.. so touch…

2day i tel her dat i m gona ask her again on my birthday… of cz… she reject me again… i m so sad… y u treat me like dat…? u say u need time… how long u need…? whenever i ask u dis… u ll give me da answer ‘ i duno’… do u now dats realy hurt me…? u say u wana 4gt him… n yesterday he sms u n tel u a lot… n u r so angry bout him… c… u noe dat u r realy so hate him… n y u cant 4gt da things wit him…? u say u dun need a bf now…. wats dat mean…? u mean i hav been doing such stupid things so long time like treating u so gd like u r my gf…? so funny… yesterday… i cry again… becoz of sadness… n of cz… becoz of u again… i hav sacrifice so much 4 u… nt saying dat i muz take back da same thing from u…. bt i juz hope 2 be 2gether wit u… izit so hard…? i duno wat r u thinking bout… i stil treat u so gd… n u say actually i no need treat u so gd… wat is dis…? i treat u so gd nt 2 get such stupid response like dis from u… bt at least u appreciate it… rite…? bt u seems dun… haiz……. i m acting like stupid ppl… bt u noe… i dun mind…. i juz hope can gt ur heart 1 day… realy love u so much… how long shall i wait…? hu can tel me………..? n hu can help me……?

my new sem started… now start wit al da subjects i m nt so familiar wit… 2 writings, marketing, sociology, cost accounting n management studies… haiz… die lo… so hard leh da lecture… duno wat da hell r them talikng about… realy feel like banging ad lecturers 2 da wall.. den 4 da marketing, i was thinking dat dis time can escape from taking laptop from da ICT centre… bt when da lecturer cal al da classrep, i duno y i m so ’smart’ n go up as da first 1… den he ask me 2 bring laptop every time his clas… aikssss….. nvm lo… since he so gd looking n quite interesting in lecturing… haha… so no choice lo… havent start study yet wo… duno how oso… n muz help her too… cz i think she hard 2 understand as al in english theory… same as me too la… ownself oso nt so geng liao stil wan help ppl… haha…. anyway, i ll try my best lo… can help or nt i duno… bt ll try oso lo… cz i dun wana break my promise 2 her…

2day… i read her blog… n a nice story she post up there… da name was ‘coffee gal’… so touch… was a gd story…

stil remember last time… i always keep an eye on her… help her in every thing… n stil remember dat day we go genting… it was so fun… n i juz cant 4gt da moments… sweet n happiest moment in my life… mayb is juz because i care 4 her so much?? i duno…. dun realy noe… remember dat time u say u duno how 2 do ur com studies assignment?? n u stil remember dat time we do it 2gether in da sch lab?? i stil remember my fren tel me… ‘wow… u r so gd… help her a lot… u dun wan 2 do urs meh?’ den i ll start answering my frens,’ haha… i noe la… bt she is more important 2 me’… m i being so funny?? or wat… i duno… bt every time when i help u in ur work n c ur happy face… i ll think dat al i hav done is juz worth 4 it…. i wana c ur happy face again… u say i treat u too gd… m i?? n shall i?? i wish 2 noe… stil remember we go watch da movie banquet in genting… although da movie is nt so nice… bt i realy do enjoy da movie… i duno whether i m enjoying da movie or anything else… n dat time we go 4 ‘ripley’s believe it or not’…. so many things unbelievable inside…. n u say it’s amazing…. yea… its amazing… realy like it a lot… n miss those time a lot….

i m stil waiting 4 u… i duno how long shall i wait… bt i think is harder if i wana  4gt u in my mind… i shall wait… stil miss u a lot….

i have read my fren’s blog 2day…. i noe i cant b like dat any more… i need 2 cheer up on my studies…  dis time result is nt so gd… oni gt 3.2833… haizz… lose 2 many ppl liao dis time…. i wana cheer up n study harder next sem… cz she say her result is bad too… so i muz study hard 2 help her oso…. she is now depending on me…. n i cant lose 2 chin kok again… n you heng… i ll win u next time… look forward 2 da next battle… janice…. thanx 4 ur advise… i saw ur blog…. n i feel dat we r da same ppl… so take my advise dat i write on ur blog…

dis few days… i realy so damn sad… luckily, when my mei mei saw my msn nick… she ask me wat happen 2 me… den i tel her everything… she tel me a lot of things… n teach me a lot… n comfort me…. i have learn a lot from her… although she is younger den me… bt she seems like more mature den me a lot… she noe how 2 think positively… n she realy teach me a lot of ways 2 nt b sad any more… den i think 4 long time…. i noe wat she told me is realy right… o ya… havent tel her name yet… her name is hong kah yean… i first noe her from my fren, lim jun yao when he gave me her msn… den we chat 2gether… i found dat we hav same characteristics… so i ask her whether wana b ny mei mei anot… she say no prob… den from dat day on, we hav more things 2 chat… like our feelings, our life, n of cz our BGR… i realy so happy 2 hav u as my mei mei… n she gt a nickname oso… blur blur snoopy gal…. dat nick is i give her de… haha… mei, i realy appreciate wat u tel me… n thanx 2 al my frens dat comfort me…. u al support me a lot… thanx…. i m nth now… bt juz wait 4 her…. i duno wana wait 4 how long la… bt i think i ll wait lo… until i meet a better gal… or perhaps i wont change… i duno… realy duno… anyway… thanx my frens !!! n of cz my dearest mei mei !!!

pass 3 days… sad 4 3 days liao… so wat?? no body realy noe dat… she scold me… scold me 4 giving up myself after break up…. i realise dat i canot like dat anymore… if i continue like dat… i ll become crazy… i muz prove dat she left me is a wrong choice… i muz tel her she is wrong… n wait 4 her… i stil love her… n cant 4gt her… stil waiting 4 u 2 come back… i ll chase u again… i hope dat u ll find me back… n next time u can treat me wit ur true heart… realy hope dat…. i ll treat u very gd…. i promise…

she say she wan alone… she say i treat her too gd…. she say she dun wan bf… she say………. i duno…. realy duno wat is she thinking…. i m so sad… cry…. n drunk…. until no more tears now…… wat else can i do…. shall i wait 4 her….?? i dun realy noe…. whether i wana chase her back or nt…. she say mayb she ll change… mayb she ll fall in love wit others…mayb she wont b back again… i m so sad now… i treat her gd…. treat her wit my sincere heart…. is dis wat i gt back….?? i lose confident at myself…. n on love… i duno when can i recover…. n duno i ll cry til wat time…. she duno…. n she wont noe…. she wont come back 2 c me even once again… dream of her every nite…. n thinking of her every moment… dis is nt da first time i break up wit my gf…. bt y dis time i hurt so much….? mayb dis time i realy appreciate wat she did 4 me…. dis time i realy feel wat is hurt…. ny heart broke… into many pieces…. like a piece of glass broken….. broken into pieces n canot gt rid of it again… i duno hu can help me… mayb no body… mayb oni myself… bt now i realy so sad… i do everything ll think of her in my mind… i realy so sad…. so sad…. so sad……..